daddy

before daddy was a raging hateful bigot he used to get arrested for screening homosexual movies in college. He used to try various food items like beef jerky and pork rolls and had a lesbian friend called tsey. Sometimes i look at his old debilitating face and cry myself silly as i think about daddy dying. The storyteller daddy is. incredible at minute long conversations and laughing with strangers. Had a rough time in college when people hated daddy for his eyes and skin and all things he could not change so he pooled all his feeble money together and built you a house.

Daddy is so kind. He is not a bad person because a lot of my favorite memories have daddy in them. Age seven unable to sleep and daddy wakes you up at midnight! Miraculous at seven the time midnight! he wakes you up and you make the five minute instant salted popcorns as he tells you how your sisters heart is small. he tells you that it is so incredibly big it has gotten small and although you are younger it is your job to protect her.

a dream about daddy where i tell him that he will die in a decade. Do something about this, about us and the three car rides we have been to so far. hold me by my ankles let’s make this fifty. let’s do every sector in chronological order and afterwards we’ll do nepal. You have never been that nice to me which is a shame because we’ll get thirty years at most. or I’ll get thirty years which have passed for you and we both know iam not as charming and not as funny . we both know I don’t call much or cry much. we both know i sneeze like you daddy. In parties I try to talk like you with inside jokes and stories; try to get many calls from people throughout the day.

Three questions for daddy

would you love me if we spoke more

Will you die before me

can we go back to college

doing the thing we always do when alone in the car that is speaking about beautiful things like the endangered mountain goats and butter tea, of things we can agree on and doing the thing we always do when alone in the car that is staying silent through road rage. What have we done? What the hell have we done?

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thankyou polo baby 4 reading this before and saying it was not horrible and terrible. read Dept. of speculation recently thankyou Jenny offill